Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
