In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I puked a lego.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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