it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
