This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
