Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
