I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
