Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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