i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
