YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
