WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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