I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The Olympian is in my bed
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
