she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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