i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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