i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
