I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
