i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
