I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
