therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
