This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
