that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
