I smell stomach acid.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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