Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize