The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
