Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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