So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize