What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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