The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
