Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
