i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
