Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
