Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
