Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
