I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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