Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
