Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
