so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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