BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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