Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize