remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
