Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
