Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
