We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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