i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize