It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
