So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
