VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
