maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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