is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
