laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize