i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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