i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
