dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have fence marks all over my body
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
