Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
