But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
