He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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