She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
