I am in a vortex of obligation.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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