nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
