I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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