Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm both gender and math confused
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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