I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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