i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize