so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
